Cynthia Erivo opens up about estranged father: ‘I don’t think about him too much’

The “Harriet” star shares how writing and self-reflection helped her heal from the pain of her father’s absence.

After being estranged for more than two decades, Cynthia Erivo isn’t so sure her life would be better if she reconciled with her father.

As Harper’s Bazaar’s November cover star, the 38-year-old singer and actress opens up about her complicated relationship with the man who, she says, disowned her and her sister when she was just 16.

“I don’t know what my life would be like if he was still around, and I can’t say whether it would be better or worse,” she told the publication.

The “Wicked: For Good” star explained that her parents had emigrated from Nigeria years earlier to escape the country’s civil war. But when she was a teenager, her father abruptly cut ties with her and her sister — a moment she still remembers vividly, saying it happened in a London Tube station. From that point on, her mother, Edith, raised the two girls alone in Stockwell, South London.

Earlier this year, during an interview on CBS Mornings, the “Harriet” actress shared that she’s since developed a sense of empathy for her father despite the pain of his departure. 

“I don’t necessarily think about him too much, only that I wish him well,” she said. “I think you have to have empathy for people, and I wasn’t always in that place. When I was a teenager, I was angry at what that relationship was.”

In 2021, Erivo channeled those emotions into a song about her father, “You’re Not Here,” later telling The Glossary magazine that writing it helped her process the loss. 

“This is me admitting that there are things that he’s missed, and I’m sad that he’s missed them,” she said. “There is a part of me that wishes I could have my dad in my life. But there’s also a part of me that’s actually very comfortable, because I’ve written this knowing that he’s not going to be a part of my life at all.”

Speaking to Harper’s Bazaar, however, she doubled down on being “very comfortable” with where things rest between them. In fact, when it comes to the possibility of how her life could change if he were to re-enter it, she said, “Better not to find out.” 

“I’ve never daydreamed about that, because it’s not going to happen,” she continued. “And the life that I have, I am so happy in it.”