Pucker Up! Lipstick Lesbian Terminology Causes Community Divide

There are many terms associated with the perception of lesbians, from the butch to the femme. And while the feminization of women who love women isn’t new, the term “lipstick lesbian” is.

Priscilla Rhoades, a journalist at The Sentinel, first introduced the concept of the “lipstick lesbian” in 1982. Before then, the lesbian community (and the rest of society) had adopted the butch-femme relationship dynamic. “Butch” referred to gay women who opted for a more masculine appearance and persona. This can also be seen with “studs.” Studs are only referred to with Black or Latinx women, masculine-presenting lesbians. The dynamic popularity stemmed from feminine-presenting lesbians’ ability to pass for straight and receive more economic opportunities than those of their gender non-conforming counterparts. However, a lipstick lesbian is a feminine-presenting woman who’s attracted to other feminine-presenting women. The insurrection changed the understanding of what lesbian relationships look like. 

The Expansion of Relationship Dynamics

Before the introduction of the lipstick lesbian, “butch4butch” wasn’t an accepted pairing among the lesbian community. Historically, the butch persona was to emulate the behaviors of men. Butch is meant to be understood in the context of masculinity perpetuated by heterosexual men. The feminist movement redefined those roles and what lesbian relationships should be without the scope of hetronormitivity. 

“Lipstick lesbians” interrupted that ideal of succumbing to another imitation. However, the phrase hasn’t come without its limitations and backlash. There is a mindset within the lesbian community that lipstick lesbians terminology is used as a dismissive way of addressing lesbian women who pay extra attention to their appearance. 

Community Divide

Blogger and self-proclaimed femme lesbian,  Liz Baxter, feels the term boxes in the desire for femme and butch attraction. She also states that sometimes the term is a reduction of lesbian sexuality in general, made to adhere to the straight male gaze. “Every femme/lipstick knows the perks and downsides of being a pretty and ‘straight-looking’ lesbian in the eyes of the general public,” stated Baxter. “Our sexuality is merely a turn on for many straight men, and we are constantly having to come out to everyone.”

A lack of representation of a different type of lesbian might be the cause of the discourse. Married lesbian duo, @TheLipstickLesbians on TikTok, discuss the difficulty of looking for lesbians in media that represent their journey. “I didn’t see any representation of lesbians. If you think about it, even the L Word, of women who were very made up or wore tons of make-up. Or had big, bold lips,” stated Alexis Androulakis.

When there isn’t an allowance for different types of lesbians, the perception becomes restrictive. Although they hold opposing views, both Baxter and Androulakis express similar sentiments. There is so much time spent trying to clue in others to your sexuality that it becomes forgotten that queerness can look different on everyone.  

“Lipstick lesbian” was developed to describe a subculture of lesbians, just as butch4butch. The lesbian community grows each day, and representation is the only way to understand the many shades it comes in fully. 

Do you consider yourself a lipstick lesbian? What do you think of the term? Comment Below!

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