‘I don’t care’: Ashanti and Nelly speak on protecting their love from public opinion

Ashanti and Nelly talk love, growth, blocking out public opinion, and life as newlyweds ahead of new reality show “We Belong Together.”

When you’ve been in the spotlight as long as Ashanti and Nelly have, you learn pretty quickly: everyone has an opinion. Whether it’s about your music, your moves, or your relationships, the public always feels entitled to a say.

But now, as newlyweds navigating marriage, parenthood, and life in full view of the world, Ashanti and Nelly have mastered the art of tuning it all out.

“Me personally, I don’t care,” Ashanti told theGrio when asked about how outside opinions affect her. Her answer left Nelly, who responded “I don’t give a s–t” to the question, visibly surprised, sparking one of many lighthearted exchanges that show just how comfortable they’ve become in their dynamic.

“I would never call you a liar,” he said with a chuckle. “I would just say, at this moment, everything is not being said.”

However, Ashanti specified that when it comes to public criticism, whether it be of her, her husband, or her relationship, she says: “I feel like I don’t care to a certain extent, as long as we’re good. I don’t let it get to a point where it’s disrupting things between us. I feel like it’s really important for us to know what it is between us and make sure that we’re good, because you can’t control what the public is going to think and do.” 

It’s the kind of peace that can only come from growth. And if there’s one thing Ashanti and Nelly have had, it’s time and space to grow.

The couple, who famously dated in the early 2000s before calling it quits in 2013, rekindled their romance a decade later, much to the delight (and surprise) of fans. But for Ashanti, it wasn’t some cosmic blueprint or grand manifestation like “Ciara’s prayers” that led them back to each other. It was simply fate doing its thing.

“When things are meant to be, they will be,” Ashanti shared. “I don’t think we were necessarily looking for each other. I think things happened organically. I mean, everyone talks about Verzuz, the hug, and all of that. So, I guess an opportunity presented itself, and then things kind of just organically happened after that.” 

Nelly echoed that sentiment. 10 years ago, he never imagined he’d find himself married with a newborn alongside the very woman he once loved and lost. Still, marriage had always been part of his bigger picture—he just wasn’t going to be pressured into it.

“People used to get on me all the time, ‘You’re not married. You’re not married.’ And I would never let nobody rush me into getting married, because for me, it’s not about having been married. It’s about dying married,” he explained. “I think we’re in a society where we’ll give credit to somebody who was married and has been divorced, rather than to somebody who’s never been married.” 

That patience paid off. Fast-forward to today, and the two are not only husband and wife but also new parents to 11-month-old Kenkaide “KK” Haynes—Ashanti’s first child and Nelly’s third. Nelly is also father to son Cornell III (Tre), 25, and daughter Chanelle (Nana), 30. After losing his sister Jackie Donahue to leukemia in 2005, he stepped up to raise her children, Sydney and Shawn.

“When you make that vow, you gotta hold that—” Nelly began, only for Ashanti to lovingly finish his sentence: “Forever.”

Since reuniting, their love story has prompted a wave of thinkpieces. Should you spin the block? Could your ex actually be the one? But Nelly shrugs off the theorizing.

“We all are different. Everybody goes through different wavelengths and different challenges,” he said. Reflecting on the time apart and how they’ve evolved, he added, “I think for us, I think some of the things that we thought would be deal breakers, um, weren’t deal breakers at all. Our overall view of one another and life as a whole was way bigger than what we thought was kind of petty.”

That deepened understanding is on full display in their new reality series, “We Belong Together.” The show offers fans a rare peek behind the curtain as the couple navigates marriage, parenthood, career demands, and blending families.

And while much has been made about their decision not to reveal baby KK’s face onscreen, the heart of the show is about something deeper: two grown, fully established individuals learning how to build a life together. 

Stream “Ashanti & Nelly: We Belong Together” now on Peacock.