How Mara Brock Akil and Oprah found healing after childhood sexual abuse

“I think we’re responsible for our own healing,” Akil said. “I have used the power of the pen to not only tell stories and entertain, but also to heal myself.”

Mara Brock Akil and Oprah Winfrey opened up about surviving childhood sexual abuse, revealing they were both 9 years old when the abuse began and reflecting on how they coped, healed and carried those experiences into adulthood.

The emotional conversation unfolded during a recent episode of “The Oprah Podcast” as the pair discussed Akil’s debut novel, “The Revelation of Dionne Daphne.” Akil said the book, which draws from her own life, became part of her healing journey.

“I think we’re responsible for our own healing,” Akil said. “I have used the power of the pen to not only tell stories and entertain, but also to heal myself.”

Akil said many of her stories have been influenced by her own experiences, even if readers don’t always realize where the inspiration comes from.

“I tell the truth through fiction,” she said. “There’s going to be some level of real truth that I am really drawing from.”

The “Girlfriends” creator also shared how writing the novel forced her to revisit painful memories and confront emotions she had carried for years.

“There’s just a lot of shame,” she said. “Even with the onset of the camera and the social media, we’re hiding parts of ourselves. … The writing of the book was an opportunity for me to free myself.

Winfrey stated that Akil’s story resonated with her because of her own childhood experiences.

“Having been a victim of sexual abuse from a very young age, 9 years old,” Winfrey said. “Being raped at 9 and then continuously sexually molested over the years by various boyfriends of my mother’s and my cousins.”

The media mogul said childhood sexual abuse can shape how young girls understand and respond to sexuality later in life, adding that many people fail to recognize its lasting effects.

“It is usually because the sexual stimulation, the sexual whatever, has been turned on in such a way that they’re now alert to what that means.”

Akil revealed she was sexually molested between the ages of 9 and 12 and said her faith became the foundation that carried her through.

“My relationship with God truly began,” she said. “My relationship is rooted in that.”

Looking back, Akil said she sometimes wonders what her faith would have looked like had the abuse never happened.

“It happened to me, and God loves me, so I’m supposed to do something with it,” she said. “Now all these years later, I believe this is my something to do with it.”

Later in the conversation, Winfrey pointed to a scene from the novel in which the main character, Dionne Daphne, retraces her sexual history while completing paperwork at an AIDS clinic.

As she works backward through the list, readers eventually learn the first name belonged to her stepfather.

Winfrey also read a passage in which Daphne says, “I knew how to compartmentalize our nights from our days. The same way I learned to separate myself from my body.”

Akil said she did not fully understand until adulthood how deeply she had disconnected from herself as a survival mechanism.

“I didn’t know I was doing that all those years,” she said.

When asked about the connection between childhood sexual abuse and compartmentalization, Akil explained how the trauma continued to shape her life.

“You learn how to be the different parts of yourself,” she said. “Fragmented. Puzzle yourself out to hide this thing.”

She also recalled being told that if she ever told anyone about the abuse, she would be taken away from her mother.

“You’re a child,” Akil said. “You don’t know what’s true or not.”

Near the end of the conversation, Akil reflected on revisiting those painful memories after becoming a parent.

“When my own children became of that age, I took the time to cry those moments out,” she said. “How could anybody touch a child at that age? And then, of course, we know it happens all the time.”