Shaq reveals what still haunts him about Kobe Bryant’s death—and why he struggles to show emotion

On the latest episode of “The Pivot” podcast, the NBA legend and Hall of Famer sits down to talk about the NBA, family, why he works so hard, and the pressure of being the man. 

Shaquille O’Neal is one of the most famous people on the planet and for many of us, has been part of our lives for the better part of it. From his days as a college basketball player at Louisiana State University in the early 90s, Shaq has turned his talent and personality into what would be a dream list for most people. 

He’s had a legendary NBA career that led to 4 championship rings and an induction into the NBA’s Hall of Fame. He’s acted and starred in movies, had an actual legitimate rap career—he’s one of the few basketball players who has also successfully managed a rap career that people respect; he even featured on a song with Michael Jackson and had The Notorious B.I.G. feature on one his records. And now? Well, he’s only part of one of the most significant and influential NBA analysis shows, the award-winning “Inside the NBA.” Shaq really has done it all. 

Because Shaq has been in all of our lives for so long, you’d think that most of us have a handle on him, especially because he has such a big and inviting personality; it’s not surprising to find out that Shaq did something really cool and nice for some unsuspecting person out in the world. So when he sat down on “The Pivot” podcast and got real about it all, even in his typical charming fashion, it made for some interesting discussions. 

For instance, Shaq claims to only have ever cried but a handful of times in life, usually around the death of family, though not out of sadness, but because he didn’t get a chance to say thank you to them. According to Shaq, that’s just how he was raised.

“I was raised where I wasn’t allowed to have emotions,” he shared. “I only cried, twice…three times. Not because I was sad, but because I forgot to tell them ‘thank you.’”

In another segment, Shaq spoke honestly about how not picking up the phone or sending a text to even Kobe Bryant before he died really messed with him and how it’s changed his mentality on reaching out to people, family, friends, enemies, exes, to check up on them. And implored others to do the same. 

“The fact that I couldn’t tell my sister (who passed from cancer) or my boy (Kobe), ‘I love ya!’…that kind of haunts me.” 

When asked if he’s been doing better with that, he pointed out that he’s trying but work gets in the way because he has to take care of everybody from his family, to his kids, to friends, to…it feels like Shaq takes care of literally everybody. Not in the figurative way but like, the literal literal way. 

“I take care of brothers and sisters. I take care of all they kids. I take care of all my kids. I take care of, you know, all my boys. I take care of all my, or like, you know, all the—you want to do a podcast and produce. You take care of all that so I’m running the show now so running the show is important because if the show ain’t ran properly, you lose it.”

Ryan Clark then asks who takes care of Shaq, and the answer gets interesting. While Shaq claims he never cries, he did seem to wipe away a potential tear, but considering how much of this convo was about his lack of emotion, it’s possible that the timing was just awkward. 

“Nobody. I take care of myself. Like, I caught flack one time I was on this young lady’s podcast and she said ‘Uh you express your emotions to your woman?’ I said ‘No, why would I do that?’ Oh and they tried to kill me, but I don’t. And the reason why is because as a man you are to protect, provide and love and women are emotional and caring so if I’m telling her I have a bad day, now it’s two people with bad days. I don’t tell my woman I’m having a bad day. ‘How’s your day?’ ‘I’m good, baby!’ I got to take care of it because if you put stress on her, she is going to put it right back on you,” he shared about being emotionally buttoned up.

Seeing as June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, these topic and ideas are interesting as means of discussing how men process and deal with traumas and emotion. As Shaq points out in the interview, it has worked for him so he has no desire or need to make any changes. Hopefully it works for him for life. For others, I hope it’s an example that even the most successful people also have things to overcome, and we all need to find out what works for us to do so.