“Protect Your Peace” — Renee Rapp Advice on Homophobic Parents Hits Home

Actress and pop star Reneé Rapp keeps it one hundred when it comes to LGBTQIA+ culture. She claps back at anyone trying to erase queer joy, and she’s on a mission to help fans navigate tough conversations — especially when “home” doesn’t feel so safe. The “Mean Girls” star opened up recently about what it’s like dealing with homophobic parents, and her message is hitting hard with LGBTQIA+ folks everywhere.

Reneé Rapp has advice for young queer folks. 

When it comes to handling homophobic parents, Rapp’s advice is both radical and practical — build your chosen family, set clear emotional boundaries, and protect your mental space. In an interview with Cosmopolitan, she urged young queer readers to surround themselves with positive influences. “Find your community,” Rapp emphasized. “Whether that community is online and thousands of miles away from you, or two towns over, or in someone who really lifts you up beyond a way you could do for yourself. Your community will do the best it can to keep you safe. This extends so much further past gay and trans people.”

She even shares a pact she has with friends. The singer explained that she will sometimes take on difficult challenges for her pals, simply because she can handle things. “We kind of have a pact among certain friends of mine that’s like, ‘I can take a way bigger blow than you can. Let me do that shit,” Rapp said. “I’m not going to let my friend who exists in a trans body go out and put themselves at risk because they immediately have a way bigger target on their back.” 

Rapp also champions self-advocacy in the face of familial drama. She recommends naming and owning your feelings. If a parent makes a hurtful “joke,” call it out. If they refuse to listen, seek allies — therapists, queer mentors, or affirming peers — who validate your experience.

Reneé Rapp’s dad had a tricky time accepting her sexuality. 

Rapp speaks from experience, as her own father did not have the most structured response to her coming out. In an interview with the LA Times, Rapp kept it all the way real. She said her parents had no idea how much she was struggling with her sexuality. When she was around 15, she asked her dad if a guy friend could sleep over. He shut it down quickly. Frustrated, she clapped back, reminding him that she regularly had sleepovers with girls she actually had crushes on.

“He was like, ‘OK, I’m sure you do,’ and just laughed,” Rapp recalled. “It hurt so bad. I think he was just, like, ‘You’re not gay, bisexual people aren’t real.’” And while the singer’s dad has a different recollection of events, the two are on the same page now. 

Rapp doesn’t just share her personal stories and give advice — she lives it. She and her partner Towa Bird turned their LA spot into what she proudly calls “the lesbian frat house,” a safe space where their queer crew hangs out, laughs, and supports one another.

How do you handle hurtful jokes or microaggressions from family members? Comment below!

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