For the love of Galentine’s Day

Galentine’s Day, the annual tradition of celebrating your friends, is right around the corner, and it’s not just for singles.

Saturday might be for the lovers. But Sunday, Feb. 15? That’s for the love that doesn’t come with a romantic partner.

Galentine’s Day, originally coined in 2010 by Amy Poehler on “Parks and Recreation,” started as a punchline. A silly sitcom bit about kicking it “lady style” and women celebrating women. But it took off because it named something many of us were already craving: an excuse to celebrate the friendships that hold us together.

And it’s not just for single women.

A friend recently texted to see if I had time to get together soon, adding that she assumed Valentine’s Day, despite arriving on Saturday this year, was probably booked since I’m married. While I do have dinner plans that evening with my sweetheart, I was fully available during the day and told her so immediately. Still, her comment lingered. When we’re partnered, it’s easy for February 14 to become sealed off, reserved for one kind of love. But why should it be? Why can’t those of us in relationships still show up intentionally for the people who loved us before, during, and hopefully long after any romance?

Part of why Galentine’s has endured is because it’s become more than a meme in the group chat. It’s also no surprise that with its opportunity for decadence and regalia, it has taken off among Black women specifically. Scroll TikTok or Instagram, and you’ll find thousands of posts of Black women in coordinated red and pink looks heading to brunch, wearing matching satin heart pajamas while dancing at sleepovers, decor featuring massive red heart-shaped balloons, themed tablescapes covered with roses, and custom cocktails and cakes. There are games. Dance-offs. Gift exchanges that rival bridesmaids’ bags. These gatherings happen everywhere, in homes, at restaurants, in parks, and they are styled down to the napkins.

Yes, of course, the aesthetics matter. We love a theme. When I ordered a dupe version of Rihanna’s infamous oversized red heart coat for a Galentine’s brunch one year — I have a heart condition and have always found heart-shaped things adorable, let me live — my friends’ eyes lit up when I walked in and their phone cameras came out. It also eventually made its rounds, so each gal could have her turn wearing my heart. Later, when we met up with some of our respective partners, they laughed and said, “Women love themes.” We do. And we love being fully seen in them by people who get it.

That’s part of the magic. In spaces with our friends, especially as women, we often get to lean into parts of ourselves that aren’t always mirrored back in romantic relationships. The softness. The dramatics. The joy in tiny, fashionable details. The performance of it all.

Galentine’s also widens the scope of the holiday. For decades, February has carried this quiet dread for anyone single, as if the first half of the month is a referendum on your desirability. Sitcoms have built entire plotlines around it for years. But Galentine’s offers a slight reframe. Love isn’t scarce. It isn’t limited to couples. It’s abundant, and it exists in friend groups, in brunch reservations, in late-night sleepovers, in the way someone hypes your coat before you sit down.

And maybe the coolest part is this: we often show up for our friends the way we should for ourselves. We plan the brunch. We buy the cards. We set the table. We hype the outfit. All of those rituals, at their core, are meant to make someone feel valued.

Sometimes we can skip the romantic drama and go straight to what really counts: the reminder that we are already loved, already worthy, already held. Whether it’s a hot date or a cute brunch club, what we’re really chasing at the end of the day is that feeling. And there’s more than one way to get it.